A Year.

A year, People.

Pretty much that’s what we’re looking at here.

An entire year I’ve been underground. Quiet.

Too quiet.

Too consumed. With life. With trying to balance two children. With just keeping up the day to day.

Something had to give. That was something was this. How could I give here when I was already given out?

I had nothing else left in me.

It might sound dramatic. I might have some of you rolling your eyes. That’s okay, because, I’ve never said that any of this is easy for me.

It’s not. Far from it.

I know entirely too well that probably something is wrong with me. Let’s not say wrong, but more like, off.

I am well aware that there are millions upon millions of mothers — some in better circumstances than I and a lot in way worse ones — that have many children.

I’m talking those of you out there with four, five, six, seven — heck, anything over seven and you’ve reached god-like status to me.

How anyone handles more than two is truly beyond my earthly comprehension. It’s true God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, because I can’t handle more than what I have.

Two is just right for me and our little family.

It’s been nothing short of absolutely jaw dropping miraculously with Baby FoH and FoH as the best big brother that he is.

It’s also been horrible for me.

Life giving and life depleting. Inspiring and depressing. Calm and anxious. Laughter and tears.

Mothering IS The All.

Baby FoH just turned one. One, already! How quickly this year has gone. It’s been giving me all the feels. One. And I just now actually and truly feel like myself again.

Post partum is some shit. Not for the faint of heart, that’s for sure.

I don’t know where What You Be will take me. For that I am excited as I write those words. Nor do I know for certain where I want to take it.

This is what I do know:

I’ve missed you; this space and this place. I’ve missed this outlet. I’ve missed words and connections.

I’m not the best writer and I hope I won’t ever be. I do, however, want to be the best me.

And the best me means coming here to share what’s on my heart.

Thank you, for being here. For me.

For us.

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