So.

How you doing? Said a la Joey {Friends}. Though I never really got into Friends, for some reason.

Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m not really into tv. Once I realized just how much time opens up when not in front of the television, I decided, I could take it or leave it … usually on the leave it end.

Walking by/on/over this “How You Doing” made me think … just how many times a day do we ask people this question. And, more importantly:

Do we mean it?

It’s kind of a standard thing to ask, a pleasantry. But have you noticed the difference when you take the time to ask, really ask, how someone is?

To look at them and give them your full, undivided attention.

Because there is a difference and you can tell it and feel it right away. I’ve been practicing asking people how they are and meaning it, really wanting to know, and in that I find just that — how curious I am about others.

It’s amazing the things people will tell you when you ask with your heart and not your mind.

The other day I had a woman almost in tears at the gas station telling me about how she’s getting a divorce. Or the little girl who was so excited to share the A she got on her math test {I was very impressed}.

I love having these real connections with people and this sharing of life and each other.

I want to ask how you are and have you tell me. It’s okay if it’s not the happiest thing, because life isn’t always happiness. I want to know what you’re thinking and dreaming about. I want you to tell me something, anything.

As long as it’s you, and I’ll tell you about me, too.

I used to think this sharing and this openness equaled a vulnerability, a weakness. It scared the shit out of me. And things that scare the shit out of me are some of my best reminders to put myself out there … that whatever I’m afraid of, probably isn’t all that “real”, or what I’m making it out to be.

And it’s not.

Because this sharing and this openness draws strength and instead of dividing us, it unites us.

I want us to be united. Even all you who I don’t know, reading these words … especially you … because something brought you here and I’m so thankful for that.

When we truly ask how we are, we’re saying that we care and sometimes, that’s all it takes and is all that one needs … just to know someone cares.

I care. And I know you do, too.