Driving home from The BF’s, and I start thanking the Coffee Gods that gas stations really do open this early. So I stop. To get the java jump start on early, because who in their right mind is coherent before 5 a.m.?

Yeah, definitely not me.

I dash in, okay, it was more like run in — wearing socks with thong sandals {didn’t even know it was possible to walk in them with socks on, but I assure you, it is}. I think I should mention that they were really thick, manly socks — because I highjacked them from The BF {always cold}.

So let’s get a good visual going here: Thong sandals with huge, winter socks, yoga pants, a sweatshirt and some crappy, old tshirt hanging out underneath the sweatshirt. Hair looking like some rat nest thrown on top of my head.

I’m so out of it, that a place I’ve gotten coffee at numerous times, I actually have to ask, and rather frantically: where is your coffee?! I don’t see a coffee pot!

Said with slight panic because what am I going to do without coffee and oh shit, it’s now 4:52 and in 8 minutes I have to be on a call to Europe. In this lovely, half awake state. Perfect.

The poor, now traumatized lad who works there, looked at me like I was insane — most likely because I really did look insane — and also because he knows me from getting coffee before and had to walk over and do one of those akward:

“Um, don’t you remember, um you come here and push this button.”

Oh. Right. Of course I remember. The button. How could I have forgotten?

It’s not even 5 f-ing a.m. is how.

So I pay for my coffee, only to realize, as I’m getting in the car, that I actually have dried — dried! Dial Soap crusted on my lower chin.

Sexy.

All I could think of was the one time I actually got a lovely “you look so beautiful today” comment from Mr.Coffee/Gas Station guy when I totally did not warrant such a compliment, but hey, I ain’t gonna complain about compliments. I’ll freely take them. Who doesn’t like to hear good things said about them?

I highly doubt that guy will ever be able to get this now, rough visual of me out of his head. Or ever look at me the same again.

Probably both.

This is me being me at its Taurean best.