Those were the precise words that woke me up on the phone this morning.

Ah,  yes. That would be my father.

Classic.

What exactly did you do, Dad?

I was holding my (half asleep) breath to see what might deem me to declare him at a$$hole status.

Turns out nothing. Except for maybe a thought crime. If there is such a thing. This ain’t no 1984 … yet.

He proceeded to vent to me about the economy, our president, those profiteering (still) off 911 … and a host of other boring topics.

This, I explained, is precisely why I don’t read the newspaper or watch the news. Do I really want to be brought down by all this negativity? Hell no I don’t.

In short, he wanted to know if him ranting and raving and calling everyone else a$$holes, in turn made him one.

I assured him certainly not. But only if he let me go back to bed in peace.

After we hung up and I lay there in bed, I couldn’t help but wonder if, along with more kindness, we all took the time to question if we were being a-holes would also make a difference in this world.

I really think it could have quite the effect or affect, or at least give pause for reflection on our actions … because, when you get down to it, who really wants or enjoys being an a$$hole?

I can see it now … the a$$hole movement begins.

Sound the trumpets.