Dudes. Omg. Forget my use of “People” — this is a dudes moment.

So bear with me, dudes, okay?

I head off to l’aéroport to pick up Maman. Her flight has been delayed like 8,989 times already {I know, that IS a lot!}, so I texted to make sure she really was on the flight and would be arriving soon.

I didn’t hear anything back, so naturally, I took that as meaning she had left.

Fast forward to me arriving at the airport, where I receive four {delayed} texts saying, “DON’T LEAVE!.” And yes, they really were in all caps.

Um. Too late. I’m here.

So I thought, no biggie, I can hang with this. Flashbacks to The BF and I doing some serious damage at a Gap Outlet nearby after I picked him up from a Key West trip. And given that it’s two days before Christmas, how could a Gap Outlet not be open?

It was right about at this point where I really felt pure, unadulterated love for my iphone. I think the exact moment was when I put in my “directions to gap outlet” request to Siri and she delivered, in like .9 seconds.

I went back and forth between downright miraculous and downright amazing. Obs, she is both. And that voice! Oh, that voice! That tells me everything is going to be okay, because, shit — she IS Siri. And Siri … she JUST knows, People. She does.

It’s like a genie in a bottle. What other requests is she capable of granting? Will have to make mental note to find out on that front.

So I start heading for the outlet and find myself on some really freaky back road that somehow was eerily calming and suddenly the night sky lights up as a plane is coming in for a landing. And omfg, People, it took me back to Gravley Point in D.C., when I used to watch the planes land.

I stopped in the road, no concern that anyone was going to come {and thankfully no one did}, put the car in park, got out of the car {as I said a silent prayer that I would not be kidnapped by random hidden person in woods} and oh! How breathtaking it was! Flying right over me. Why does it inspire me so? No idea why, it just does.

As I continue driving, following Siri’s directions, I slam on my brakes as I pass — no joke here — Don Joy Place. Obvs why I had to make a sudden stop. Totally GOT that message, People. Thanks. Best one I’ve seen all month.

Don Joy.

Which was the absolute perfect reminder at the time, because it’s easy, make that really easy to get annoyed when shit gets f-d up and doesn’t go your way with delays.

So I thought, yes, People, I will. I will go don me some damn joy while I’m waiting and it’s going to be great!

I was on such a high after that that I didn’t even care the Gap Outlet was closed. I was hoping I had the fact that it was Christmas Eve’s Eve on my side, but no such luck.

At this point I was ridiculous hungry, but alas, every single eating establishment? Closed. Re-read that for emphasis.

Of course, I was like, FFFFF. I’ll just go chill at the airport, and wait it out. Plus I knew I’d have to pee and surprisingly enough, CVG has some rocking bathrooms.

I’m picky about airport bathrooms, because I find most of them to be downright disturbingly disgusting.

Fast forward to parked car, enter airport, beeline for the bathroom. I have a particular fondness for this bathroom, because it’s the only one I use at baggage claim. See why? I know, she’s a real beaut.

I thought, mid pee, that the last time I peed in here, it was after my Paris flight. And naturally, much heart hurt flooded my body, but I did okay, I made it.

Pee and all {TMI?}.

But only because I had my feet and the person’s feet next to me to look at.

You know how sometimes you just have to concentrate on something and well, when you’re sitting there, it’s easier to just look down to do that concentrating?

Or should that not need a question mark and just have ended with a period? No, it was a question I was proposing.

But then. Then.

I started thinking … is this weird of me that I’m staring at my feet AND the person’s feet next to me? It suddenly felt awfully personal.

Like I should know this woman. And then I started wondering … is she okay?

Because it seemed like there hadn’t been movement, of any kind, in well, forever. But what do you say in these sorts of circumstances?

Excuse me Miss Person next to me, but are you okay? You seem like you’ve been sitting your ass in here for an awful long time.

I thought it was stalkerish enough of me to have taken a picture. Right after I did, I thought, is she going to call me out on this? As though she could have known I was taking a picture of her right foot.

Anyway. I digress.

Other perks to delayed flight : the decorations. Airports always have gorgeous Christmas decorations and displays. Love it.

So very holiday of them. Well, given it is the holidays, I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am.

As for another note of surprise — let’s make that pure shocker — the Chapel. Where have I been, or is this a {relatively} new thing to have Chapels in airports?

Yes, an honest to G Chapel, People!

Last time I checked, this wasn’t a hospital, though I suppose I get the whole wanting to pray before a flight. Or after a flight?

Made another mental note to see if other airports do indeed, have Chapels, because I’d be willing to bet that {Charles} De Gualle’s airport Chapel would be off the hook in the swank, comfy department.

Who needs a freaking flight lounge when you can have an entire Chapel with couches and cozy chairs. Where no one will smell like smoke or disturb you.

Talk about win-win.

Of course, my extended airport visit wouldn’t be complete sans a visit to the Air France counter.

For sure, I looked utterly certifiable as I stood … just staring. Remembering me weighing Big Blue on the scale and then just the whole trip in general.

Now.

The only con to all this waiting around hoopola? NO FOOD. Thankfully, all my times of being prepared has actually paid off and come in handy. I did have one Kashi Honey Toasted Grain {the crunchy kind!} bar with me.

But damn. Am I hungry. How is there not even one vending machine?

Not like I’d buy anything out of a vending machine, but still, that’s not the point. The point is — any halfway decent airport should have a 24 hour food source, in whatever form that may be. End of story.

In also having been prepared … it was rather fortuitous that I grabbed my huge black {Brother would insert an inappropriate comment right about now} handbag that I use for work, because I didn’t feel like fishing around for my wallet and other small[er} necessities to transfer to another handbag.

Too much complicated for me. Really is. I’m all about simplicity in all things.

Good thing I did bring this bag, because it had my laptop, my Us Weekly literature and a Law of Attraction book. Hot damn for entertainment.

Also in bag – deodorant {hey, I guess you never really know when you might need it}, makeup bag, vitamins {do this body good} and holy  hell — didn’t even realize it till just now — my stun gun. Classic. Stun gun at the airport. Watchout TSA.

The other really great thing about hanging at the airport two days before Christmas?

The people watching. Which has ben at an all time high. This is straight up out of the beginning of Love Actually.

And seriously — watch that, People.

What’s not to absolutely love about reunions, especially during this holiday season when families and loved ones are so anxious to be together again.

All the tears of happiness I’ve seen … the hugs, and the running — really why walk when you’re just that excited to see someone you love? And my personal fave – the family who were ALL wearing either a Santa hat or had reindeer antlers bobbing on their heads.

Too funny. I wonder if TC would wear a pair of those? Might be worth a try.

This has been a beautiful representation of Christmas to me. Just this right here, these acts of love and joy and togetherness.

Isn’t this what the holiday truly is?