Although beginning this day, felt nothing like a wonderful life.
I woke up to snow. And yes, while it looks beautiful and all is quiet and still and white … I have a difficult time enjoying it, after about … oh, say an hour or two.
Let’s be clear : I’m a warm weathered girl. This snow business? Not my thing. I don’t particularly enjoy the feeling of being home bound and shut in — at all — and, honestly …
It makes me sad.
No, not sobbing sad, but … there is a melancholy that permeates throughout my entire being on snowy days. I want to lay in bed and not move. I’m sure it also has to do with it being these holidays.
I was saying today to Maman how much I want things to go back to a routine, yet, I don’t really feel like going back to work. Ha. Isn’t that the dichotomy?
I decided early on, staring out at the snow coming down, I wasn’t going to get sucked into The Blackhole. That Blackhole is amazing at doing that. Just sneaking right on in and sucking you on in. No Blackholes today!
As soon as I made that decision, it seemed like The Universe insta-responded.
Comm called to say they would come by and pick me and TC up for a celebratory lunch and assured TC 98989898989 times that the main roads really were safe to be on.
And indeed, there was much to celebrate. The good news is official – The Commodora is cancer free as of today. Double quadruple hurrah! I’m so thankful I didn’t have to consider life otherwise, because that’s just too big of a thing when you have your People, that have become family.
Which, given that he was totally my dad in another life, that still makes him my dad in this one. And look! Can you believe – I finally got a photo. He almost never cooperates with photo ops, but I used the whole, “but it’s Christmas” and it worked for once.
And as for TC … I’ve calmed down. Higher self told me to put my whole self in check, of the love kind.
I could almost hear The People … saying … hey, this whole love thing? Wake up! Love love love love and then love some more!
Love when you’re hurt. It’s your family. They love you, too. Love is the way.
Look, I hear ya. It still sounds so … hokey … so foo foo fluffy to me, too. It feels so … unnatural. When shouldn’t it be the most natural?
But some part of me wants to cling to safety, to be rooted in “right” and “wrong” and “justifications”. But that’s not the way. The way is love.
As a confirmation of my love route, The People have been showing up at an all time high.
Even when doing dishes and using public restrooms. And, when spilling water on your tights. And eating a pear.
The Universe speaks and thankfully I have enough wear with all to know to listen. To watch. To pay attention.
To continue what I’m doing and I cannot go wrong in that. None of us can.
This world is magical. And while I know I might get too caught up in my own head and get down about my life or feel like everything I’m doing is wrong …
It’s not. Those are the temporary states, the not real. The real, to me, is this. Hearts and family and love and yoga and candy and good human touch, that deep connecting when you really look at someone.
This is a wonderful life. And it’s mine! And yours is yours! And today someone I love is cancer free and miracles are happening all over.
Let’s celebrate.
