Time is an odd thing.

That does odd things to me. On one hand, it feels to be in super quick stealth mode. Where things all kinda blend into one and I’ll think I’ve recently seen a friend, when I realize I’m categorizing “recently” as two years ago.

Then on the other hand, time feels painfully slow. A week resembling more a month.

I remember when I was 14, two months shy of 15, a freshmen in high school. I was journaling in my room, a cold Sunday March afternoon, when  it hit me … all time is now, all things that have happened, ever will happened, are happening now.

The idea was so revolutionary, so electrifying to me, that I ran out of my room and exclaimed in wonder to TC and Maman, “there’s just now! There’s no time!”.

They both looked at me as though I couldn’t possibly be their child, let alone have created me. It probably didn’t help that I couldn’t explain — at all — what I meant.

It was just something I knew as a truth. My truth. Because my truth and your truth might be different, and that’s totally cool. I’m not here to try to convince you otherwise.

As I became older and my interest in spirituality, driven by a vast array of other wordly experiences and dreams, lead me to numerous publications and super smarty peeps who all preached the same thing :

There is just now. This time thing is a thing — there is no past, no future. There is simply here.

Granted, this is still hard for me to try to wrap my brain around, in fact, I try not to.

Anything I inherently feel as a truth I try not to “figure out” or dissect, because it usually gives me a massive headache and then suddenly doesn’t make sense and I start doubting myself … and so forth.

Because we all know, in one sense there is time … Right now it is Sunday, the 27th of January. 2:33 in the afternoon. Yet, I believe there is much more happening than what we are able to grasp with this concept of time.

Even Einstein said, “time is only an illusion.”

But what illusion? What is real and what is not? You see how much this debate can spark … the implications are so mind blowing to me that I have to stop thinking about it.

My initial thoughts about time actually relate to just me and how I use my time. How little time I often feel there is.

Like today. I woke up later than anticipated. I had to run errands. I saw Guru’s car at the store but kept driving — no time to stop and say hi.

Two blocks later, I turned around and went back. Of course I had the time to stop in quickly and say hi. Why do I feel such pressure with time constraints?

Constraints that I am completely making up.

There is nothing like seeing Guru to set me straight. Calm me down. Focus me back to right here.

If time is an illusion than I want my hours and days to be spent in joyous creation.