Finally!

And I ‘ain’t talking ’bout da club here. Though, Jay, and Queen B, if you’re reading this — love ya’ll. I still want to spit a rhyme! Jay, no dobut I can blow your mind on, “Can I get a”. B, um … yeah, won’t even attempt. I bow down to you.

Finally! I can write about something I’ve been wanting to for the past 40 days. This is the superstitious in me coming out. I felt if I shared this thing with you, People, it would jinx me.

I needed to get to a safe point and I’m at that point — the end. Only to begin again. Thus how it goes, right?

So.

40 days ago, I had this brilliant idea. I was all, OMG! And Higher Self was all, OMG, too. Which meant it really was a good idea.

Commit to a 40 day Sadhana {Yoga} Meditation with one of my fabulous friends.

See. I need People, People. I really do. I need you guys in my life. It helps lift me up. Knowing you’re there … when I don’t want to do something, like oh, writing, I feel like My People are counting on me and I’ve committed, so I’m way less likely to bail.

A big part of me likes, no, make that, loves to bail. I want to jump ship constantly — in my personal life. I don’t know why this is, other than Resistance rearing its ugly head.

You know, convincing me that why would I want to do something like go to that party I said I’d go to and actually hang out with my friends. Wouldn’t I much rather stay at home and do nothing?

Trust me, Peeps, when I say that is an all too common thing around these parts. I just may be the most socially unsociable person I know. Because I do crave connection. I crave People. I want to hear your stories and see your smiles and know you.

Yeah. I’m a weird one. For sure.

Anyway. Got my Fabulous Friend to go along on this crazy 40 day ride. And I will openly admit — without her I never ever ever would have made it.

There were days I thought about blowing shit off. Resistance not only had me convinced, it had completely taken over my entire thought process and then … then, I’d hear my message thingy go off.

Fabulous Friend giving the countdown on another day. And god damn, if I wasn’t forced to do it and how thankful I am that she’s been there as a great support system.

Because let me be the first to tell you : committing to 40 days — and yes, that’s straight days, none of this b.s. of 11 here and three off crap {yeah I tried to pull that} — that shit is hard.

Well, I don’t know. I guess I shouldn’t generalize. You might do it and kick Sadhana’s 40 day ass, and in that case, power to you! Go ahead. Take shit down. Show a sister how it’s done!

In my case, it’s challenging as hell — if I believed hell were actually a real place I’d end up in the event my Soul could not be or isn’t saved. Which sometimes I don’t know … sounds kinda fun to me.

Some of you might be all, WTF. What in the world is a 40 day Sadhana, anyway? Good question.

Straight from the mouth of these smarty babes:

“Yogic science teaches that it takes 40 days to create or change a habit. A 40-day commitment to a practice can provide the shift needed to develop a healthy habit or to drop a destructive habit. In yogic terms, a sadhana is a daily personal practice. It is something you do every day for your own upliftment and expansion. It is a practice of connecting to your intention in a focused and conscious way. A good way to get into the sadhana habit is to start with a 40-day practice.”

And to follow up with my fave line: “Doing something every day for 40 days is demanding. It is difficult. And you can do it! A 40-day practice gives you the experience of discipline, the experience that you can go through life’s challenges and create the change you desire.”

Ah ha! Justification, right thar. See. Even they say it’s difficult! I’m not alone, alas!

You can see why Higher Self was all over this. These are the kinds of things Higher Selves, when words like “upliftment” and “expansion” are used, are all, get your ass on that stat!.

I’ve tried before to do a Sadhana {meditation}. Resistance got the better of me. Because, People, it brings up shit. All kinds of shit you didn’t even know was going to be brought up. There will be days where you want to do anything but that God f-ing forsaken meditation.

The thing that kept me going, in addition to Fabulous friend, is that I knew something was working for it to be bringing so much “stuff” up to the surface.

Yogi Bhajan said this is how you know the meditation is working … sometimes, you feel worse before feeling better.

Fabulous Friend and I picked a Mantra Meditation for abundance. This one is really good at clearing subconscious debris, and it must have been working overtime on me, because I think I’ve spent the majority of the past 40 days going between bouts of anger, okay, so more like rage as we know from Valley Thrift the other day.

Now that we’ve completed this 40 days, we are beginning another 40 day round today. Honestly, I feel like I”m just now getting into the meditation and to keep it real, as I always do with ya’ll … there were days I probably shouldn’t have counted but I did.

The days where it was like literally two freaking minutes and I fell asleep in bed, or I was all, F THIS, that’s good enough!

I’m trying not to be too hard on myself — afterall, I did do it, even if it was a couple minutes. That has to count for something … right?

I’ll keep you posted on this next round. I’m excited to see how I feel more than anything … I’m not so much getting caught up in the “manifestation” as I am focusing on feeling good, and from that point, I figure manifestation will follow suit.

As I mentioned in my previous post on doing yoga everyday …

There is something to be said for commitment. Turning the tide in your own life. Saying yes, instead of saying no. Get a friend on board. Do it together.

If we want things to change, that means we must change, as well. Whether that be through our thoughts, actions, or both.

I believe the best work we can put in, is work on our selves. Because, really, everything that comes forth benefits when we take the time for us.

You don’t have to immediately jump in full force and make it 40 days … pick something reasonable and do-able for you.

The key is to choose and begin.