Today, People, I realized something really important. This is Derek Zoolander really really reallyyyyy ridiculously important. This critical piece of info is this:

We’re all walking around with our hearts open, and often, I think bleeding a little. Or maybe a lot in some cases.

I used to take {a slight bit of} offense when TC would shake his head at me and then in an angry voice say, JC! You just can’t walk around saving everything and everyone!

It made me feel like something wasn’t right with me. That it was a bad thing to want to help. It was a very conflicting message.

Then. I’d go to church. I’d hear how we are supposed to help Our People. We are supposed to love Our People. Non conflicting.

Then. I’d go back to church. I’d hear about how some of these People would be damned to hell for being different and holding different beliefs. Wait. Who was I and wasn’t I supposed to help? Conflicting.

It’s a hard thing to keep straight when you’re a child, but I think it’s harder as an adult. By the time we reach adulthood, there’s been thousands {who knows, maybe it’s millions?} of messages about what we are and aren’t supposed to do. Whose good and whose bad and who we should or shouldn’t go to war with.

I believe this comes from our fellow People who are afraid. There’s a little or maybe a lot in some cases of aching wounds. They’ve been hurt so many times they’re just trying to protect themselves the only way they know how. They have to pretend they’re closed off and don’t care so there isn’t one more letdown. One more ounce of heart hurt that strikes them. I get it because I’ve tried it. They’re just like me, only going about things in an opposite way.

But, here we are — all of us — walking around with our hearts wide open.

This hit me today as I was talking with Guru B, unloading my heart hurt of the kittens. Of, what to do’s and this is so hard for me. It helps when we have our People we can tell these things to.

I learned that Guru B has the same hard time with these sorts of situations, too. He feels the pain. He gets it.

Once again, I feel I come full circle, that we are all in this together — and we all feel the suffering of innocent children starving, helpless animals and single mother’s in poverty stricken situations.

It comforts me. I know I’m not alone. That there are always more People who want to help than not. Who will say yes instead of no, when they get over their fear.

I still don’t know what and how to go about doing what I’m even supposed to do. But at least I feel the support of thousands of you who are just like me, and me, you.