The thing is about these bigger life matters {for me personally} is that I often ask myself …

Okay, Self — YOU should know how to trust, so what the hell is it that I need to do?

Typically Higher Self answers back with what I deem as some bullshit response such as, you already know. I mean, really. What in the hell kind of answer is that? Even though, a part of me thinks, maybe I do know I just don’t know that I know that I know.

Lately I’ve been coming back to this damn T word. This whole Trust business. It’s one of the things that trips me up the most, because I tend to be pretty action oriented.

Something’s wrong? Change it. Don’t like something? Stop doing it and start somewhere else.

I have my lists and I weigh my pros and cons carefully. At times, this feels too “mechanical” for me. A bit too non go with the flow. Hell, there is no flow. Because I’ve lived enough of life to understand that when things are really happening for me, there’s no list.

No careful crossing of i’s and dotting of t’s. There’s an effortless flow of being with the stream, rather than against it.

Trusting is scary stuff for me. That means I need to throw my life jacket overboard and be all, I’m here and everything is working out just perfectly! and sometimes, I know I’m not ready for that.

Yoga talks about making your life less predictable. Of trusting that in the unknown, is where our true happiness and destiny lies.

So. How to trust? I want to know your secrets.

Because I’ve been driving myself pretty bat shit crazy these past few days with Baby and preparations and just life.

Am I just supposed to say, okay trusting now! TOTALLY TRUSTING! And not worry about a damn thing?

And hope that if I say that enough, I’ll actually convince myself that it’s true?