Allow me to preface with: I’m no expert here on poverty and I’m not going to even try to pretend I am.

I don’t hold any fancy degree on it. Nor do I even really have any personal experience, seeing as I clearly don’t live at poverty level.

My exposure to poverty has been two-fold: seeing and witnessing our fellow People living in some pretty abject states and sharing the common outrage of media stories that pop up and cause a stir, then die down, as they always seem to. And, teaching. Teach in a school where over half the kids are on free lunch, and that will be your wake up call.

I’ll never forget the day I walked in the main office, as some teenage boy walked out, almost running into me, and the secretaries informed me that he was homeless. Homeless! I stood there for thirty minutes trying to wrap my mind around how a senior in high school was freaking homeless. Holy shit if that still doesn’t haunt me to this day.

I’m also certainly no lawmaker here. So I’m not trying to piss anyone off — on purpose. However. TC. That guy. He is so damn smart and he was a lawmaker for over 25 years and he’s just so … damn brilliant and smart — oh did I already say that? — and I pray that little FOH has a razor sharp mind like his.

I mean, it’ll be okay if he gets my mind and say, Maman’s. But in all honesty, I’d like him to have a little more brainpower. Not like we’re stupid or anything and I’m totally not putting us down … I’m just saying, I admire TC’s mind. It is a rare one. One of those that gets what needs to be done for public change and can then put that into actual words, followed by action. I don’t think like TC and I wish I did. So maybe FOH will take the win in the genetic gene pool.

Imagine my shock when TC and I were talking about poverty earlier this week and he gave me a startling and haunting statistic — 41% of children are born out of wedlock.

41%!!!!!!!!!

In the African American community, that number is 73%. Followed by 53% of Hispanics and 29% non-Hispanic white children.

Shocked the living hell out of me, People. Again, I am also not a fancy smarty statistician person {there’s a reason I quickly dropped that class after showing up twice — way beyond me} but 41% sounds pretty damn alarming to me.

Granted, I realize that this does not mean that every child born to unmarried mothers are going to turn out royally fucked up, or that there isn’t a father in the picture. I can think of a couple friends who aren’t married, but utterly committed to each other, have children and have a wonderful, stable relationship.

I also realize that on the flip side, not every married couple with children means anything close to stability and a happy home. The point is — there’s always going to be f-d up situations, regardless of socioeconomic and married and unmarried status.

However. There’s no doubt here that that 41% of children is directly related to poverty. We know this. It’s been studied and scrutinized. We’ve come up with all these government assistance programs as an answer. There’s government programs out the wazoo. Most of these either have failed or are failing miserably.

I’m going to take a stab here on this poverty situation and make a suggestion. A little bold of little ‘ol me and it’s going to sound downright laughable — it’s okay, you can laugh. TC did. Until he stopped and thought I was dead on.

We need to love and care for each other.

If the majority of our children are born into a non-existent family unit, imagine what that does. The huge disadvantage they’re already at! And again, I’ve seen it in the schools. It doesn’t take a damn rocket scientist to figure out why little Johnny or Kelly is acting out when dad is in jail, mom can’t get her act together and grandma is the main care taker. I can’t even tell you how many attention starved children I’ve been around, whom all just want one thing — love.

The problem is very simple in that we live very separate lives from one another. If we took care of one another — really and truly caring — then perhaps these staggering statistics and mass poverty would start to turn around.

Because suddenly, we would become a community. We would be in this together, nurturing and supporting. I know that is easier said than done … just look at me. It’s not like I walk around putting this into practice … I do what I can when I can, but I know a lot of times, my efforts are half assed. I try to make myself feel better by saying, but self don’t feel bad! At least you are doing something!, when deep down I know that the something could be something much more — and I’d like it to be.

But I make excuses. I’m pregnant and tired and I have my own child to care for now. I forget that taking care doesn’t have to mean, give all my money away. Really, I’m talking about support here.

Sometimes, that’s all we need. And in this poverty case, I have a hunch it could make and bring a world of change. Just knowing … there is someone there for you. Someone who will love on you … isn’t that what makes all the difference with everything, when we think about it?

Again, I’m not sure how all of this works nor how to go about it or even if I’m right — I could be way off here. But I do know that love is a mighty powerful thing and no program can swoop in and save the day when we haven’t done our inner work.

If … somehow … we could just all love and care, together, one by one but hopefully someone will want to buddy up with me — it’s always less scary with a buddy — we can start really small and see big differences … and that might just spread?

What do you think?