I’ve been having some sleepless, rather late nights.

I really wish I could take a Xanax or just something! Because it’s intense over here ya’ll, up in this body of mine. I’m okay during the day. It’s the night that gets me.

Suddenly I think of everything left I have to do or acquire more stuff — like the bassinet last night that came home from my mother in law’s house and the baby clothes. More things to wash and put away and find a place for. These are clothes that won’t be used for probably a year but I just couldn’t throw them in some drawer — I would have except this is what I’ve done with 90% of all the other baby stuff and I told myself I had to organize and have everything ready to go this weekend.

The result was me up until almost 3a.m. and then having to play a fear clearing session to calm me back down.

I’m supposed to leave in three hours for Easter with my beloved Aunt J but really I’m just feeling the soon to be pressure of being a new mom and don’t want to do anything.

Because omfg, I have laundry and laundry galore to do and I still haven’t scrubbed the floors — floor scrubbing becomes pretty pointless pretty damn quick when there’s higher priority things, such as car seat installments — and again, I feel like mainly I just want to sit and be still. I need THE STILLNESS.

I’m trying to be calm and centered and confident. And the fact that I have no damn idea WHEN this kid is going to decide to make his Earthly return, is now a little nerve racking in the final week {possibly longer?} to go.

One things for sure though that I can now breathe easy about: I’ve made it into Taurus. Hallelujah and rejoice!

Not that I have anything against Aries. I don’t. I can’t help but have a pre-disposition, being a Total Taurus and all myself. And, when I started receiving the signs that a baby was coming from The Universe, I knew this would be a Taurus. I had no doubt.

I just thought this was something for 2015, or better, 2016. NOT this year. The Universe loves to throw curve ball surprises like that.

This morning when I woke up, I wondered what next year at this Easter time will look like. Considering a year ago, my Easter was spent in one of Paris’ oldest churches and me roaming the romantic Parisian streets. This year I’m knocked up {fyi – this belly has exploded even more in just this last week!}. And next year I’ll probably be that mom who has her baby’s picture taken with the Easter Bunny.

I’ll have him in some cute Eastery outfit that hopefully isn’t too cute stupid looking, just straight cute and there won’t be any freaked out traumatic tears.

What a difference a year always makes, People. Joyeux Paques!