The Thing is, People.
The Thing is. Is … well … it … is.
I’m struggling. Sometimes on a daily basis. I have thoughts flowing through my scattered mind so damn fast that it seems there is simply no hope of getting anything out, at least not right.
Even though I don’t believe in “right” anyway. Right?
And People. My dear, dear, People. Who I feel like I just kinda jumped shipped on and abandoned … I went a-wall, because I did, but hey, People — that’s what sometimes happens when you have a BABY. Like an actual REAL PERSON that you have to feed and clothe and ENTERTAIN.
Jesus! The entertain part … it’s bordering on too much. I don’t know how Maman, for all those long, lonely years didn’t bang her head against the side of our brick house when all THREE of us would say in our most accusatory voices as possible, BUT! YOU! YOU need to find SOMETHING.
She’d stare at us blankly and then we’d have an exasperated follow up shout of, SOMETHING TO DO!
Like that wasn’t obvious enough?!
So really The Thing, People?
It’s this: I’ve got roughly two hours till it’s pickup time for FOH from my mother in law. Part of me wants desperately to collapse in bed, curl up in a ball, and never wake up.
The other part of me desperately wants to do yoga … you know, be productive because holy shit, I have TWO HOURS of FREEDOM.
The other part of me just wants to sit. And be reminded of The Truth that: I am still a person! Oh Praise ye, Lord! I’m still, somewhere in there, ME. I haven’t lost myself yet.
And then I think that’s a pretty might thing to want to celebrate — self preservation. That surely should be high up on the list.
Then I remember that I haven’t bought ONE single CHRISTMAS present. Yet. Key word … yet.
And so many People look at me like I’m The Worst Mother In The World and gasp and say things like, but it’s your baby’s FIRST CHRISTMAS. You mean you have … NOTHING for him?
Yes, that’s about right. Oh, nothing except ME for him. And him for me in turn and praise all things Holy, but People, can you think of a better gift than THAT?
Where us just being US, as we are, is TRULY enough?
How many more Christmases will I be able to get away with this? Possibly just this one.
So I suppose this whole “Thing” … this Thing is love. That’s what it all comes back to.
It’s sacrificial love. It’s love for the sake of love. Love in its purest, truest form. Love as we are. And I think because of this little Big Truth, I’m going to make it.
I mean, I highly doubt I’ll ever have Christmas shopping done on time or be “hip” and “on it” for cool ass boy gifts and in general just being a cool mom. But that’s ‘aight. That’s what Beyonce would tell me.
We cool.
Because we got love.