Sometimes, the weight of reality comes crashing down on me and it’s just …

Too much.

Today is one of those days. Maman leaves in a couple hours and I feel depressed. But what this departure has spurred is this:

I think of how hard it is on me when my mother leaves, and I cannot even mentally comprehend, nor wrap my mind around what it must feel like to lose a parent in horrific circumstances {ahem, Syria, Yemen, Palestine, all areas of siege and conflict}.

So I try to wrap my mind around it. And then I just want to cry uncontrollably.

And my heart feels so ridiculously heavy for all this suffering in the world … all the while, I feel guilty feeding in to this “suffering” mentality.

But yet, how not to?

Tolle would say that if we are truly in The Present Moment, there can be no suffering … well, how the heck am I supposed to do that?!

I know reality is bendable. It exists only when we look at it and say it exists — our science tells us this is so.

Thus, reality is not really all that “real” on some levels. All things are one. At the core of me, I feel these Truths. At the reality of me, I struggle.

I just want: everyone to love each other and get along.

That can’t be that hard, right?