The Yay: Barreling onward and upward despite the other million and five Cincinnatians who had the same idea as me + Brother.
Le Zoo.
People. What, in the good Lord’s name, made me actually think that it would not be as crowded as one of those horrific mall Santas, lined with newborns and toddler meltdowns?
Those queues today were enough to make anyone’s anxiety ridden crowd blood run cold. I obviously felt we {read: I} deserved at least nine awards and a hundred Xanax {kidding, kind of} for not abandoning ship and pressing on in the midst of the storm.
The storm I’m referring to would be the stroller brigade and it is a very real thing. And your ass better get out of the way stat when one of those Bob’s comes hauling up behind you.
I know, People. I own one. That thing is rated for a foot of snow and sand dunes. And those crazies who do ultra marathons. Please note : I mean crazies with much love and respect. I’m incredibly inspired by what the human body is capable of and thank you for being the reason I have put down too many to count cookies and Reece peanut butter cups. Fine, and snickers. Look, I have a weak spot for those two. This is why I stopped buying sweets. I eat them all.
And I’m not one of those People {because we all know one or three} who say, oh yes me, too.
No, I straight up mean: I eat them. All. Maman can vouch for this. I’m pretty sure she was slightly terrified and confused that it was even physically possible for me to eat an entire package of five Reece cup bunnies. The big ones, People. Not those small individual ones they sell. Think king size.
Clearly she bought these for FoH for Easter. How’s that for a mom? Eating all your kid’s holiday candy. Pretty classy. Granted! I was pregnant at the time. So I trump that up to eating for two cravings.
Anyway. Back to my beloved crazies: I am well aware that serious athletes surely must have a good laugh when they see me walking {read: strolling — no pun intended} by.
I watched today as The stroller brigade took out one teenager, two grandpas and almost one small child. The stroller brigade waits for no man. Under no circumstances should you ever F with The Brigade. I guarantee your ass will be taken down. And with no remorse.
Highlights from today include : FoH just absolutely beside himself over the polar bears. Attempting to get a lion to roar and the merry go round.
Seeing your child light up and become so enthused serves as a beautiful reminder that : life is supposed to be like this … one joyful discovery after the next.