It’s no theory.
It’s fact: I came back for the candy.
And yes, that good human touch, too. Can’t forget that.
I can picture myself, with My People surrounding me. All of us weighing the pros and cons of my earthly return. When someone points out the all mighty important:
Candy.
Lots of it. Any kind imaginable. Anything you want. It’s yours for the taking.
Done. Sign me up. I’m in.
I’m absolutely certain that’s what sealed the deal in this whole being in physical form again … as a Total Taurus.
Okay, okay. So maybe I should add in yoga, too. And a whole slew of other things.
See. When I say candy, I do mean candy as in literal candy, but also as the representation of the good, sweet things in life.
Life is delicious. It should be. All across the board.
And I want that deliciousness. Lots of it.
Knowing this is one thing. Being in this state, however, is another. Isn’t that so true about everything?
Example. Yesterday I was in the midst of a great day. Feeling awesome, when I thought: I could really go for some candy right about now.
Once the thought came to me, I couldn’t shake it. I felt like an addict, looking for their next fix {and saying thanks that it was just candy, not actual drugs, I was pheneing for}.
Two mini Butterfingers and three Starbursts later – wait. It was actually four. It briefly made me feel better to say three. Briefly, because, look how quick I had to admit the fourth.
Why is it that underestimating food consumption makes us temporarily feel better? Or is this just me?
Regardless. I can’t lie on here. Rather refreshing.
The Butterfingers and Starbursts did not disappoint. I just love that flaky taste of the first bite of a Butterfinger. Slight crunch.
Immediately after this glorious candy consumption, I was hit with a wave of foouilt.
That’s food + guilt combined.
Hey. Ya’ll know I have enough made up words to practically start my own language by now.
Minute by minute post eating I was racked by the most intense fixation … of calorie consumption and computation.
When math people talk about math actually being useful, I imagine it’s for instances like these.
Quick calculation of caloric intake.
MASD. It does come in handy. Not totally in the right order, but I came up with it in fourth grade. It’s easier to remember.
Instead of listing out: Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication, Division.
I stopped myself, or at least tried to in the midst of the foouilt attack. Reasoning it out.
Telling myself that it’s okay. It’s not like I ate the entire bag of mini Butterfingers.
And they’re mini. How damaging can that really be?
Eventually I saw just how nonsensical I was being.
Why beat myself up about this? Why do we usually as women?
If I came for the candy, I came for the candy. The enjoyment.
The fun. The goodness.
I released myself from the food + guilt. The foouilt.
No more.
Bring on the candy.