Really?

Because sometimes … like, right this hot second, it doesn’t feel that way.

That all I need to do is take some deep breaths and that’s it?

Today I call bullshit on that. Me … cheerleader numero uno of The Universe … the ever positive yogi who knows, as in it’s a scientific fact, that when you breathe, your brain wave patterns change.

But today, today … I am feeling faithless and yogiless and kind of like a fraud … me — me! — … preaching the way of how to live and what joy this whole existence thing is … and here I am … thinking, I’ve been fooling everyone.

Maybe I don’t know anything … or maybe, I know everything. I don’t know … that’s just it — today, I don’t know.

I feel the weight of things on me … a heaviness, a burden. Of something that I’ve taken on that I cannot place.

So. I’m going to go outside with B. Fresh air. Movement. It will do this body and mind good. I know this is what I need. And after, yoga will come.

Even though I don’t want to do it … who ever wants to do anything when they’re in a mood? But I’ll do it, because this is what it’s about : changing the space you’re in.

I still call bullshit on the breathing thing. For now. Because I can and because sometimes, calling bullshit is necessary.

It makes me evaluate my beliefs and thoughts and my own inner faith. Which really doesn’t feel like much right now … but I guess that’s it, right?

Part of this whole spirit living a human-ish existence … we not only need, but most know these places within us … where and when we get on shaky ground and we feel like we can’t keep a single foot in place or moving … Yet we do … only to regain our balance.