Soleil. He was my first car.  Alright, technically it was : Sole1l.

Amazingly enough, some other French wanna-be somewhere in Virginia had Soleil. Maman, in her never ending quest for the perfect vanity plate, came up with the “1” in place of the “i”. I know, I never would have thought of it either.

I think of Soleil frequently. He was so good to me. Ever the reliable Volvo. Ever the listener and friend. And that sunroof! Even in the dead of winter I’d have the sunroof back, heat blasting. Quite green of me at the time.

I was extremely attached to him. We’re not going to discuss his fateful ending, because for all I know, he still lives on to see another day.Regardless, he still lives on in my heart. Tacky but true. I told you, I am sentimental. You just didn’t realize how far I go now, did you? I’m just thankful I don’t exhibit hoarder behavior. I consider this a true feat, given my emotional makeup. See. There’s hope for all.

Speaking of hope … I woke up today and was wondering why I felt filled with a bubbling sort of  hopefulness. It kinda had me on alert right away, which then immediately made me feel like such a fraud for all my yoga talk of hope and joy, because according to yoga these states of mind are our birthright and natural outgrowths of a strong nervous system and balanced glandular systems.

See. I don’t do yoga to look good. I do it to feel good. Okay, that’s a half truth. I totally do it to try to have a smaller ass and get rid of cellulite — which it works! OMG, People! I would never ever joke about something as serious as cellulite, so please, take my word – yoga will drastically cut down your cellulite.

Coming from someone who has had cellulite probs since she was 12 {dudes, I was a fatty, this is no exaggeration here}, this is nothing short of miraclous.

Now. All cellulite and yoga aside, I realized that the real source of my hopefulness was something called the sun.

Why yes, that would be that bright thing that comes out every now and then in the sky. It gives us the warm fuzzies and sometimes makes our skin look so delicately bronze like {read : blotchy red at first then I turn a delusional shade of what I refer to as “bronze” – makes me feel better about myself}.

Imagine this! The sun out in the state of Ohio! I could hardly believe it myself. And People … it’s stayed out all day long.

The healing power of the sun should never be underestimated. People. I feel like I could take down and acocmplish some major shit right now. Shit sounds way better than stuff. What’s up with me and my {over} use of : shit, damn and hell? Oh, and F. I love to F.

F-ing is so necessary. At times. I remember once, when I was 16, I told TC {gasp}, F YOU! People. You cannot imagine the look in his eyes when I told him that. We were standing in the garage. There was a brief moment of silence, where he was trying to decide what his next move would be and I was quickly plotting mine — I knew that look and it was one that said, your ass will not leave this house for the next 30 days.

So I slowly stepped back, making like I was going for the door into the house, but then turned, ran to Soleil, hopped in, locked the doors and backed out as fast as I could. Not without TC getting a few fist pounds on the hood. Whew. That was scary. At the time. Because now?

Can’t even remember what stupid thing we were fighting about. Why is it that so many of the things we fight and argue about are just relentlessly stupid and inconsequential yet we feel they are so important at the time?

Whenever I’m feeling like I want to argue about something, I call upon Higher Self. Though I never call it “arguing”, I do the whole, I think we should talk. What a loaded line that is! Anyway. I’ve started to ask Higher Self if this is going to be something I’ll laugh about in a few months or few years or will it still matter?

Higher Selves are really great about being all higher-ey and knowing like five years into the future so then I know when to let something go and when to bring something up.

I think Higher Selves are also all about sun. So I took Murph on an extra long walk. I was thrilled to find that I was actually working up a sweat. A true sign it really is getting warmer. About damn time.

I hope everyone is feeling hopeful and bright today. That’s the great thing about the sun … it always comes back … eventually.