I haven’t been hard on myself lately, I’ve been downright harsh.

Let’s make that Harsh, with a capital “H”.

I’d say it’s a safe bet that a lot of this harshness and not enoughness stems from being a child fatty. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I don’t think you ever fully shake fat and the thoughts of, still not thing enough, when you spent the majority of your formative years feeling ginormous.

For a while there I was on my big self love kick. I had a good streak going. I really did. Until I didn’t.

Self love is annoying in the same way working out is. You actually have to get off your ass and do it. It takes consistent work. Oh, and you’ll feel totally stupid at first as you stare at a mirror and proclaim your love for yourself.

God forbid your sweet boyfriend over hears you and asks, what was that? Then you get to feel all toolish saying, oh nothing just telling myself I love myself!

I guarantee you will be met with silence. At first. Support later.

I’m not sure if this is something I’ll ever be able to completely shake. Maybe it’s just simply a part of me that will be lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce.

But I do know that I can work on overcoming not enough. It’s getting old and frankly, I feel I’m getting too old for it. It’s like the bad relationship bs you put up with over and over again till you realize that it’s just plain is not serving you or your higher agenda any longer.

Adios.

That’s what I want to say to this whole not enoughness. Besides a nice, f you. You can leave now. I think I’ve had enough.

And I think I love myself more than you do. That is all.