People. It’s been four — four whole days that I’ve successfully gone without vacuuming.

Stop the presses. I know. I have no idea how I’m still standing either.

Alright, so it hasn’t been that bad, but it has been … rather … challenging.

Sunday, in a cleaning frenzy {i.e. fury}, I had one of those moments of clarity. The one where you suddenly feel as though you’ve stepped outside of yourself … a waking out of body experience, so to speak.

I saw me in all my cray cray {which was very cray cray scary!} and it was enough to make me say, Self! I am going to go this entire work week without vacuuming. F it. I cannot try to continue to control my surroundings by cleaning perfection.

Higher Self wanted to be supportive, but I could tell, even Higher Self was waning a bit. I can’t blame HS, me vacuuming is a daily occurrence. Sometimes twice daily, if I’m really being compulsive. It brings me great calm and peace of mind.

I’m being 1000% fo real here, People. When I’m feeling out of control, I clean. It calms me. Then I immediately proceed to yoga to ensure said calmness remains.

I just don’t ever want to become a slave to behavior patterns — the dominant reason I decided to forgo the vacuuming. I want to be aware enough to realize when something is starting to control me, rather than the other way around.

And, I don’t want to let my happiness ever be dampened by something as stupid as me wondering how many crumbs or coffee grounds are on the kitchen floor.

Sometimes, there can be more perfection in the imperfection.