I have a full fledged baby in me.

By that I mean: everything is done. Everything is working. Every system is functioning. All that is happening now is growth and weight gain. I don’t know why this thought has me marveling so much at the moment, it just does.

Knowing that there is nothing else happening developmentally, besides packing on pounds … I have a full fledged baby who can be born at any given moment. I used to think that when I got to the final couple weeks, I’d be on strict lockdown.

I wouldn’t go anywhere or do anything. Because … who wants to be caught unawares by the birth of your child? Now that I’m at this point, it’s totally not the case. Maybe it will be starting around a week prior to FOH’s guessestimate date, but for now, I don’t really think about it.

Maybe this is Hypnobabies, being in the present moment, total acceptance, trust — call it what you will — I’m simply not concerned. Or, really, consumed would be a better word here, as I thought I would be. Sure, it crosses my mind from time to time but it’s more a fleeting thought.

Of course it’s a complete Mind F for me to think that in the very near future — this month — my life will never be the same, for the rest of my life. Just takes the breath right out of me, People.

And while I’m exhausted pretty much constantly, I seem to have very odd energy surges. Like right now. 12:30 a.m., why how convenient. Or perhaps this is me not going to sleep when I should. Like at 7, when I wanted to tonight and couldn’t keep my eyes open.

Speaking of eyes open, I’m going to give this sleep thing a shot. My bet is I’ll be out within three minutes. Thankfully, sleep has not once been an issue for me. So many things haven’t, and I truly am so grateful for that and hope I haven’t come across as too whiny since this has been over nine months of growing an entire human.

It’ll do a number on ya, for sure.

And damn how quickly it’s gone. I’m ready to meet you now, FOH.