I roughly have 20 minutes to go before FOH makes his second wake up call of the night/morning.

Racing against the clock, People. Constantly it seems.

How lucky am I that technically, there’s only been one feeding during the night. Though, my boobs are repaying me for this mistake. I last fed FOH from 11 till a little after midnight — yeah, I could hardly believe it myself! A little over an hour of {hopefully} sucking some fat off me. Though I am pretty sure I’m carrying around at least five pounds in boobage, so I just keep deducting my weight by five.

I was kinda concerned at the end of my pregnancy that my boobs had yet to become that much bigger. Yet another thing I thought was a given. Not the case. For me, it didn’t happen till my milk came in and damn. I feel like I look so odd! Really, thank God I never decided to get a boob job, otherwise I’d just look straight up ridiculous at the moment.

Instead I only look half ridiculous. Particularly with my left one so much bigger than the right because of the mastitis. Speaking of, that’s the reason I’m up and not sleeping next to The BF.

After FOH’s long feeding, I put both of us to bed and set my alarm. Problem was, when it went off, I just couldn’t bring myself to move. This is what happens when you’re so sleep deprived — when sleep comes, it’s damn hard to force yourself up.

Sure, it crossed my mind that my boobs felt awfully heavy and “full” but sleep knows how to woo and win me over. The next thing I knew it was almost 4:30 and FOH was stirring. This time I had no problem getting out of bed — five and a half hours is way too long to go between feedings, for FOH and the boobs.

I’ve been paying for this sleep oversight since this early a.m. feed —  My boobs are on f-ing fire. I tried going back to bed but it was just too uncomfortable. I took a warm bath, which did help and now even if I wanted to sleep, there’s no time. He’s about to wake up and we’ll start all over again.

However. It does seem that each day, I’m getting this Mothering business down a little more and a little better. Improvements are alive and well. And the best part of all of this?

I’m learning about love in ways I never dreamed or thought possible. From loving The BF and FOH to loving through dirty diapers and spit up. I have a consistent reminder that everything always does came back to Love.