I think any words, and numbers for that matter, sound better adding a:

Le. Or La, infront, of it.

Don’t cha think?

Sounds way cooler. Kinda like English people. As in those who hail from the greater U.K.

I find that they always, always sound so much … better.

More refined, with a hint of superiority. And a touch of glamor — that’s what I’m really after, anyway, truth be known.

What girl doesn’t want to sound more glamorous?

In fact I didn’t even know it was possible … sounding glamorous.

But it is and anyone who can make an ugly backyard, or more appropriately “garden” as they refer to it, sound breathtaking, is an admirable accomplishment.

Plus there’s so many advantages to sound so … posh.

Example: you can be so nasty and mean to someone and they’ll have no idea.

That’s right, no one will even realize you’re insulting them.

I speak from experience.

But did I mind? No way. Not with that hot accent. Might have helped that the hunky physique was not too shabby either.

Did I ever mention the time I was in London for an afternoon and got the currency backwards … and actually thought it was cheaper, not (ridiculously) more than the dollar?

Yep. True story.

The majority of my brief hours were spent on a spree at Harrod’s. Till I realized that the spree wasn’t a spree, much to my horror.

I wonder if they still have those open dressing rooms?

You can imagine my conservative American shock when I go to try on clothes and it’s just this big, open — albeit, gorgeous in its “I’m a Harrod’s, far superior dressing room way — women’s dressing area.

I can’t recall ever in my life when I’ve seen so many half clothed women with out of shape bodies.

What made it worse was that the entire place was covered from head to toe mirrors. That’s right. It was like bam bam and BAM – muffin tops coming at me from every angle.

And the ones who did look good, I felt like I was staring at, which then made me feel reallllly awkward because I didn’t want them to think I was checking them out.

When I was checking them out.

“Cause let’s be real ladies, that’s what we do.

We’re always checking each other out.

We’re seeing whose breasts might be fake or look bigger or better or (we hope!) smaller.

Does she have a better ass than I do?

The legs.

The waist.

The overall package.

Yeah. I do believe women check women out more than men.

And I do it in a maybe eery complimentary non I want to do you way.

Not that I have anything against some girl on girl action — absolutely not, whatever floats anyone’s boat.

It just doesn’t float mine. It more like sinks it.

Sorry to disappoint anyone.

Maman does it, too. Or maybe it’s more me pointing out, “oooh, did you see how good she looked in those jeans?!” and she agrees.

That would be a more accurate statement.

I’m always commenting on beautiful women.

As women, I feel we can do this. We can appreciate the nice ass of another.

Precisely because we know the work and glute machines it’s taken to get there.

See. We should band together more often.

We can check each other out and then tell one another how hot we are and how small our thighs look.

With no  shit talking after the fact, a la Ja’mie King.