I’ve spent the majority of today in bed.

Bed is a rather glorious place to be. It’s calming and comforting and safe. It’s like my nature alternative when I can’t go disappear in the woods.

Not like I’d ever go disappear in the woods alone. I want to all the time, but I grew up watching way too many America’s Most Wanted and Lifetime Television for Women made for tv movies. I know how those stories end of women who traipse off alone into the woods. Nothankyou.

I did, once again, force myself to yoga today — one year and nine months, hollaaaaa — like I’m going to mess that kind of streak up and I had Brother come over and cook dinner for us.

Probably had something to do with my Roid Rage from yesterday and Krogering, but I did apologize and he gets it. No one knows me better than Brother. Which is an incredible relief, because I never have to explain myself to him. I can leave it at, sorry I was an ass, and there’s nothing further needed.

Tonight I realized that every time Brother cooks, he talks to me. As in has a full fledged cooking discussion with me. Well, I guess I can’t really call it a discussion, because I say nothing. There is nothing for me to say. I just listen as he says things like:

What we’re going to do is: add the fennel in at the last minute to really maximize flavor. As I’m sauteing the mushrooms I’m going to start adding in the sausage so the mushrooms will soak up the flavor. Then …

I have no idea what any of this means. And I’m always afraid to ask, so I say nothing. Or I nod my head, like I’m completely following along and get it. When we both know I don’t get it.

And the sweetest thing is … he says we. When it should be just I — even when he knows I’m not going to do a damn thing. Not one little thing.

That’s how you know when someone is really special. That they know things, important things about life and this world.They use we.

And they use we because they inherently understand that nothing is ever singular, because there is no separation. It’s all of us, together.

When I hear we, it’s like my secret code word at the door. It clues me in immediately: I am in the presence of someone I need to know.

I want to be more like Brother. I want to be so secure in what I am doing and so getting it that I could care less that no one else is doing anything, but I’ll still let them have all the credit.

That’s a master at work.