You will be pleased to know — shit got done. Today was the day. Or more like yesterday was. Same thing.

This seems to happen to me on busy accomplishing days — I’m up extra late. I don’t know what it is. I hear normal people are tired after an afternoon and then evening of painting and doing other physical activities. It helps them sleep well.

Obvs I am not normal — this has been documented many times here already — and apparently the more I do, the more it jacks me up.

Or wait. Is this just science? That whole energy output thing.

Also. I get really hungry late at night. I tried not to eat. But then I thought to myself, self! Why on Earth would you want to be deprived of bodily nourishment?

Yeah. Why would I? So I ate. Plus I assume painting burns like 9,834 calories an hour so I must be in the negatives by this point. That’s a lot of calories. Clearly I needed food.

The painting. People. It looks so good. I think so. Just a little suggestion if you come over. Don’t look up and don’t look too closely. It’s that damn edging. It gets me every time. And! WTF. I thought those fancy edgers are supposed to work. They don’t.

Or I very well was using it wrong. But Brother told me I was doing everything right, and he would know. He knows everything I need him to know.

But I think all in all, it’s a success. How can it not be a success with a paint color called Mark Twain Gray. Yes, in addition to John Denver, I also love Mark Twain. Never mind that I haven’t even read any Twain in a good 15 years, but that’s not the point. The point is: My whole idea of picking paint colors based 90% on name did not fail me. Twain never does.

So a couple things upon painting reflection. Well, not a couple. Mainly just one.

Blame.

It’s probably my Taurus qualities and the fact that TC is my father, but I’m rather … particular, shall I say. I have this idea of how things are going to get done and how they should get done. I mean, I think we all have these ideas. Right? It’s just some of us can roll with the idea as it evolves and changes and some of us don’t like the evolvement as much as others.

I’m a little of both. Only because I’m able to take a step back and put my Self in check. It’s a very good thing to be able to do.

While we painted, I found myself wanting to blame The BF. On the stupidest shit ever.  I’m not proud to admit this. But it’s good for me to hold myself accountable and be able to see the things that I want to work on.

Blame, I think, is a pretty common thing in any relationship. Because it lets us off the hook. It’s a sneaky little sucker in that way.

I’m hyper careful when painting. Newspapers, making sure the paint is rolled the correct way — betcha didn’t know there’s a right and wrong way to paint, did you? See. Another sticking point of mine.

Anyway. At one point, I found paint spots on the stairs. We decided to forgo newspapers lining the stairs. It made more of a mess than not having it. There’s no good way to get it to stay in place and if you’re walking up and down, well forget it.

It also drove me crazy that every time I looked at my feet I was able to read words. I then naturally thought we were dirtying up the entire house anywhere we walked. I’m sure you can guess what’s on my Sunday agenda. Why how did you know, washing floors!

Of course, I assumed immediately that these paint spots and blotches were The BF’s fault. Who, me? Spill paint? Ha. Never. Then I started blaming him for how the paint looked drying {mildly psychotic? probably.}. And from there things just went downhill.

I got annoyed that he put a sweating glass on the hardwood floors. Triple annoyed that he asked me if I had seen his wallet. Off I went on this trail of blame and self righteousness … the, I never lose anything, dialogue.

But I know what happens when blame and holier than thou statements start. That shit comes back on your ass so fast.

I once went to this psychic who told me, don’t ever judge. If you judge, you will create a similar situation for yourself … eventually. I responded with, oh no no no I NEVER judge.

Sure I don’t.

I do, however, try to catch Self in the judging {blame} moment and turn it around. What’s with this blame crap anyway? Why is it we want to turn against The People we love?

We’re on the same team. We’re together, not against. It is not cool to put blame on anyone. Even if The BF did spill paint, it’s not like he purposely did it. If I was in his place, I wouldn’t want him blaming me.

These are the little things that can create a big divide when it’s just not worth it.

More together. With less painting. But, you know, whatever it takes for the sake of walls looking good.