My mind is racing. I can’t sleep. I can’t even think about sleep.

And quite possibly, for the first time in my life, making a GD “to do” list didn’t even help. Instead this is causing more panic.

I should not be panicking. There’s no reason or place for it. But I am. And the great thing of all is — I can’t seem to take action on anything, so it’s a complete downward spiral effect over here.

I can’t really take action on too many things at almost 1 in the morning, but I could make a wedding announcement list. That would be accomplishing something … yes?

Yes, because, it is on my “to do” list. So it counts.

Also. This is happening. As in right now.

I have never had nor seen a cat who liked peanut butter. Peanut butter! Of all things! I’ve never even known cats to want to smell it.

Clearly, little Johnny Barnes and I were destined for each other since the beginning of time.  Plus, this is Krema we’re talking about, which puts it in its very own peanut butter category.

Anyway. Please pray for me. Or good vibes me. Or good juju me. Whatever magic you want to send my way, go for it.

How I went from sleep to peanut butter to pray for me, I don’t know. See — this is why I need you to call upon The Jesus — I’m all over the map.

What I really want to do is about three hours of yoga except I keep thinking, I don’t have f-ing time for that!

One week from now, I will be lakeside in the North Woods. All will be serene and calm. Whatever didn’t get done, oh well, it won’t matter.

This crazed can’t sleep me will be a mere dream of the past. Except she feels pretty damn real right now and this is the present we’re talking about.

I totally get why people go on meds now. I’ve never had a Xanax before but it’s beginning to sound very lovely. I shall never judge again anyone who tells me they went on anti-anxiety medication prior to big life changing events.

Not that I judged in the first place! Really, I didn’t. It was more a, well I’ll never need that, still an a-hole comment on my part because omfg — the sheer ignorance!

I guess now is the time when someone should tell me I should relax and slow down and enjoy. The same annoying things I love to say. I’m not sure about the relax part yet, the slowing down, too … but enjoy … I can do that.

I think?