Sometimes, a trip home to Mama is just the thing that is needed.

As is the case this weekend.

I am jetting off to DC this evening. Jetting sounds way more glamorous and cool than “leaving”. How boring is that? Jetting conjures images of me off to multiple {exotic} locales … I can pretend … for now.

One of the things that is truly mind boggling to my pregnant self, is that, in me becoming a Mama myself, I will inevitably become someone’s source of comfort and support. And, People, I don’t know … how to do that? Am I ready to do that?

I guess the ready part is besides the point — I’m going to have to be. I’m scared about it. I feel like I’m not ready. I feel like I need my Mama way too much as is, how on Earth will I be able to be that for another?

I don’t know. It’s not clear yet. Maybe it never will be. Maybe that’s what parenting is? It’s not having all the answers, it’s figuring out the best answer, for each individual, and just trying to do the right thing.

It’s pretty damn overwhelming. I try not to think about it. I’m hoping it will become clear once it’s all happening. Some of it might, some of it might not. Again, no control. The Unknown.

I’m realizing mainly what parenting is, is a complete surrendering. Of Selves, ideas, beliefs — all of it. I don’t know how I’ll do. Everyone says, you’ll be great, but will I?

And what is great, anyway?

Or maybe I’m over thinking all of this. And it’s a good thing the less I think, because I won’t really know what I’m in for, until I’m there.

In the meantime, it’s preparing in the best way I can mentally, spiritually and physically.