People. I am being assaulted by dreams as of late.

I’d really appreciate my Dream Self to stop this nonsense asap. It’s disturbing me. I get that means there’s some important things going on that I most likely need or should address, but who the hell wants to do that?

Early this morning I had a dream where I walked in the building where I hold my yoga classes. I was with a friend. I had no clue who said friend was, except that she felt like a good friend. When we walked up the stairs, suddenly the building became my high school and I was standing in the cafeteria.

At lunchtime.

Do you ever remember that feeling in high school? Of standing in the cafeteria, in the midst of just insane loud madness and feeling like all heads were turned to you, though of course that’s not true, no one is really noticing, because everyone is so damn self consumed with themselves in highschool.

Well in dream land, it was true — every.single.person was staring at me. And they all fell dead silent. Suddenly I was face to face with my closest friends from those days and they were giving me the death stare.

I felt all sorts of panicky. I quickly glanced around to try to find an exit, or come up with some reason to haul ass out of there. But I knew I couldn’t.

I knew I had been had … yet had for what? At that point, a huge surge of anger rose up in me at them and I flashed right on back my death stare {it can actually be quite effective and scary, just ask Brother and The BF}.

My death stare must have had magic powers because everyone faded away at that point, except two of my closest friends from that point in my life. We continued to stare each other down.

Until one of us said something like, this is stupid! It lightened the mood slightly but then we all started having it out. Over what, I wasn’t even sure of but it consisted of hurt feelings and false accusations.

There was never really a resolution in the dream, because at some point I had a conscious awareness that it was a dream and I wanted the hell out of it.

This dream, like all things, is not random. I know that. And if I’m being honest, these two friends are the two I think about most and that I do have unresolved issues with. Or, situations.

Guru told me to never ever use the words “problem” and “issue” because those things don’t exist — there are only situations and every situation has a solution.

I haven’t spoken to either one of them in a few years. I can’t even really tell you why either. Other than, it’s just what happens at times. Or seems to happen. Doesn’t it?

I can’t put my finger on what went wrong or what might have been or not been said … we just … grew apart. I want to reach out to them but I don’t know what to say. Actually, I do, I’m just afraid.

Because I’ve reached this point in my life where I want to be and am being honest about how I feel and I’m not sure if I can handle that level of honesty with them … at this time.

Is that me taking the easy way out? I’m not sure. See. These are the more challenging aspects to life, I think. The relationships with our fellow People.

Navigating these waters can be rough and muddy. For now I’m going to table any action and simply wait … maybe that’s an excuse, maybe not.

I’d rather feel positive though before taking any action. Afterall, I believe it’s not how well a message is said, it is how well it is received by another.