People. There is hope, true hope, for me.

We hosted a dinner partay tonight — for nine. I felt so legit! Finally! Granted it was almost all family, but hey, that totally counts.

It made me feel like a real adult … you know, with fancy dishes and candles and all that jazz.

And! Everyone seemed to truly have a good time. Does anyone else worry about that when having people over? I always secretly think it might be a huge disaster but no one would ever tell me because they’re too kind. It’d be more one of those unspoken things that doesn’t have to be said.

Brother and The BF made a killer Jambalaya with cornbread. Along with a Thai slaw that was so kindly brought. Which at first I thought, gross who the hell would want to eat that? Obvs I am not an any slaw kind of girl.

However, it was just divine. Food Porn, People. Straight up food porn. All of it. I’m really lucky in that the few times we actually do host a dinner, I never have to cook.

Wait. I don’t cook anyway so I’m not sure why I said that. We already know this.

It’s a good thing I’m not cooking during these dinners because playing hostess takes a lot of effort! You have to remember to keep tabs on needed refills, hors d’oeuvres, and just general hostessy things. Given Pregnancy Brain, it’s like five times the amount of work.

Plus if you’re anything like me, you don’t set the table till you’re right about to eat because you forget to do things like that ahead of time and table setting can be an art unto itself.

I had a really wonderful moment during our dinner, where I got to play Outside Observer.

As though two me’s were suddenly existing and I was experiencing all as it was unfolding right there in front of me, and also from the outside looking in … and I thought, how happy everyone seems. I want to be a part of that — while realizing I was a part of it and felt so blessed that Baby FOH is going to have all these People who love and support, who we can all count on.

I’m so lucky. I know I spend a ridiculously insane amount of time with my family. It often strikes me as strange that my friends’ Friday and Saturday nights don’t revolve around their families, while I know it must seem pretty odd the other way around.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.