It’s interesting The BF and I chose a 31st as our wedding date {August, for those of you newbies}.

It was by no means intentional, yet as with all things, I don’t exactly believe it wasn’t a “coincidence” either … I was just trying to pick a timeframe/date that would accommodate our families and the pain in the ass of having to travel to our wedding.

I heard plenty of, you do what you want to do and, pick whatever date YOU want not what works for us, but I kinda gotta call bullshit on that.

If I’m having a wedding and expecting People to show up for it, even if it’s just family as was the case for us, and said People are going to have to travel a minimum of 500 miles, you’re damn right I’m going to consider what works for the greater good.

Labor Day Weekend it was.

The 31st is also my parents wedding anniversary — yesterday to be exact, as well as a reoccurring date of other noteworthy familial events.

I think I’ve said this before, but I can’t be sure, because I’m not blog organized yet and do a pretty crap job of linking to other posts, but TC and Maman are still married.

I just refer to them as divorced for all intensive purposes. For starters it’s way easier and evokes no questions. And how do I even attempt to answer any question along the lines of, wait so they’re married but haven’t been together for years … {insert awkward pause} um, how does that work?

Hell if I know.

It’s going on a good 14+ years of them being legally separated, which makes it even more confusing if I ever engage anyone in a discussion about their “marriage”. I have no clue why they haven’t gotten the Big D yet.

Truthfully, I don’t believe either one of them still carries the torch for the other. Even though I love to give both of them shit about their husband and wife. Particularly when Maman is in town. I always ask if she’s going to be bunking with her husband and call TC to make sure he has mood candles ready for the bedroom. I don’t know why they don’t think it’s funny.

Likewise, there is no ill will. They’ve always been on great terms. But yet … neither one can pull the trigger on having a finalized divorce. Which begs me to question … there must be some form of love there … right? Has to be.

When The BF and I finalized our wedding date, TC asked if I was, at all hesitant, given the failed state of our marriage and how I can tend to be, stupidly superstitious.

I, by no means, look at my parents and think, failures!, on the marriage front. How could I when regardless of all the shit that went down, they had three pretty darn awesome kids {if I don’t say so myself} who all try to be good humans being and well, they did their best, or what they felt they could give of their best.

I’m only five months into marriage, so this is going to be a topic to revisit in a good five years when some challenges have arisen and we have a full blown school aged child on our hands {holy SHIT!}, so I’m not really sure what to say about it. Because there’s so much to say!

The BF and I have an incredible relationship. Obvs or we wouldn’t have gotten married. But that’s not to say it’s perfect and all roses and swept off my feet. My god, I don’t believe anyone who claims that to be the case, at least I don’t want to.

I’d rather hear about the hard times because it’s real. I can tell you that finding out I was pregnant two weeks before we got married and entering marriage knocked up, knowing I wouldn’t even have a year just for us to get our feet on the ground together as a married duo, has been more than overwhelming at times.

You’re you for so long and then you becomes a We and then you have to rework that in to your whole concept of I/me/we/he and figure out how to live with someone … because the toilet seat isn’t going to be put down every time and you’re going to find the trash can liner isn’t replaced once the trash is taken out, after a ton of freshly discarded trash has been thrown in there and add on top of that, a little person set to make their worldly appearance in a matter of months and yeah … it is work.

No doubt. But beautiful work. It’s Love in continual progression and it has opened my heart so wide and deep. Showing me more of what love is rather than what it isn’t.

So no. Maman and TC, they didn’t fail. I’d say they’ve been a huge success. They love. They love us. They still have love and mutual respect for one another.

And I am honored to share 31 with them.